midwest feminist - Part of the Furniture

I had an actor on the show I just did tell me (and the whole room) that when a husband/boyfriend starts to treat you as a piece of furniture you should take it as a compliment.  Apparently that means he has FINALLY gotten comfortable living with you, and you should be flattered that he holds you in the same regard as his favorite lounge chair!

Now I don't know about anyone else, but being compared to a chair or sofa does not make me feel particularly loved or special.  I don't enjoy being blown by with hardly a kiss as he goes from work the computer.  What's funnier is I had a guy tell me once he didn't want to treat me like a piece of furniture, and that is exactly what he did.  (I guess a doormat is a piece of furniture).  Bottom line, no matter how long you have been together we always want to be treated as though we are valued, as though we are precious, as though you are glad every day that we have chosen to spend our lives with you.  Because the reason we choose to spend our lives with you is because you treat as equals, out of the ordinary strong equals, and when that goes way we are likely to as well. 

Now none of this stems from my own relationship, but from the type of guy this actor is.  Now that the show is closed I can talk freely without fear of loosing my job.  See this man was sick, and sexist. He kept his wife away from all of us, especially the three working women.  He thought the mother in the show shouldn't be there, and we were wrong for allowing her to pump.  (Now more places should have rooms and schedules that accommodate pumping for nursing mothers, but that is another post).  He refused to listen to me, because "he has a problem with authority figures, and especially women".  He was a true male pig, and I have no doubt he treats his wife as part of the furniture. 

I have made it clear I will never work with him again, and if that means quitting on two days notice so be it.  I have my integrity, I am strong and independent I am a feminist, but what I am NOT ladies and gentlement, is a piece of furniture.